Bryan: Did you know some people eat weed?
Me: Yeah.
Bryan: So do they just stick it in the brownies?
Michael: Bryan, they don't eat the actual plant.
Bryan: I don't get how people eat weed then.
My brother was playing around with his airsoft guns and my dad walked by and said, “What are you? Saddam Hussein?”
Me: Can I practice my vegetarianism presentation on you?
Brother: No.
Me: But I'm sick.
Brother: So?
Me: I thought it'd make you feel bad, so you'd say yes.
Brother: ...Okay, fine.
Aunt: Do you guys want to run a marathon with me?
Me: How long is the run?
Aunt: 26.2 miles.
Michael: Hell no! I don't even like driving that far.
Michael: You know how you can tell if pasta is done or not?
Me: You look for the dark line?
Michael: Nope.
Me: You bite a string?
Michael: No. *Throws pasta at the wall*
Me: What the fuck???
Michael: It's not done yet. It didn't stick to the wall.
Me: Where the hell did you learn that?
Michael: My apartment-mate taught me.
My little brother and my baby brother. As much as you boys annoy me, I wouldn’t want to be without you two. Michael, thank you for covering for my ass when I’m an inch away from being busted and for helping me sneak out of the house, you know I do the same for you. We give each other the harsh truth and blunt advice, but someone has to, right? Bryan, thank you for the 2AM phone calls to make sure I’m still alive, LOL. For a 13 year old, you’re a good listener and you’re also hilarious as hell. Oh, when I came home tonight and my car alarm went off, thank you for booking it from your room to the driveway, ready to save my life and beat the crap out of whoever you thought was attacking me. “I was trying to find something heavy to bring, but it might have been too late,” HAHAHA. I’ve come crying to these two on only a few occasions and they’ve taken such good care of me each time. I’m thankful for being able to go into your room and bother you guys when I’m bored. I love that you guys tell me stories I couldn’t care less about. I know we’ve always got each other’s backs. I love you two. Just stop waking me up so early.
cellar door by coryjohnny.
